DONALD PRINCE

Donald Prince has lived two lives and the final chapter hasn't been written. Lots of people went through the residential school system, later got into drugs and alcohol and messed up. They either straighten up or die. Only a few wrestle their demons down for as long as it take to get past old history and create a new story about themselves-a story about a man or woman with a great peace inside. Fewer still have the energy, once they emerge from Recovery Lake, to direct it to helping others day in, day out, without losing themselves again. Donald Prince is doing it. One day at a time.

He doesn't brag about winning any battles with that hostile, pathetic, incorrigible alcoholic who started his career in reform school and then went to prison for a dozen years. Actually 25 years in and out of jail and along the way stabbed three times, shot once. Hastings Street his forwarding address. But he is rightfully proud that he dug himself out of that pit, with the help of a few good friends, and is able to extend a hand to others today.

The anger stopped, the violence against himself and society stopped, in January 1994. "That's when I sobered up and started a new way of life. I had to go through a lot to get where I am," said Prince. Where he is today is canoeing the perimeter of Recovery Lake, hacking down the weeds so others can see the shoreline and their future beyond. Prince became executive director of Wilp Si' Satxw Community Healing Centre in February this year. "I have been involved with helping people as a counsellor, clinical supervisor, addiction program manager and residential school project coordinator, and now am the executive director of Wilp Si Satxw," he said. "While I have been on the straight road, I have learned much about helping others."

Prince said that sharing his past with Raven's Eye was "not to do this in a way that blows my own horn or anything like that is not the purpose of it." He said the people he works with often look at him and say, "If this guy can get this far or change his life so much from the way it used to be," then telling his story "probably gives them some incentive or hope that maybe there's some better things ahead for themselves."

Prince didn't suddenly have an "ah ha" experience and he was healed. There were several things that spoke to him before he got his wake-up call. The second-last time in prison, Prince said, his children were getting into trouble in school and drinking. His 14-year-old daughter wrote him a letter about what was happening in her life, and Prince recognized, "This was me when I was 14. I was already in jail when I was 14, and she was going down the same road. And a lot of the things that she was doing, I had taught her to do." Fighting and not letting anyone get in the way.

Prince said that at age 36, he suddenly saw his own shortcomings as a parent. Coupled with the frustration of being in jail when, around the same time his six-year-old daughter was in a serious accident and the family had to cope with worry and grief without their father.

Prince got out of jail and went back in again. I was sitting around with a bunch of my cronies that I'd been going to jail with for 25 years-there were less of us then-but one of the guys said he was in jail because ...if he only hadn't done the crime, he probably wouldn't be in jail. It was like a light bulb went on for me. I had been in jail so many times and had 52 convictions on my record and never been guilty of anything, you know. It was always somebody else's fault. This time, though, it was, "I'm here because I did something wrong."

Then another man said, "You know, if I hadn't been drinking, perhaps I wouldn't have done what I did," Prince related. "And it was like poof, another light bulb went on. "I'd never been charged with a criminal offence while I was sober. There were always drugs and alcohol involved one way or the other." Prince considered for the first time whether, if he quit drinking and using, maybe he would not go to jail. That was the start of realizing, "I need some help here."

That was 10 years ago. He was 38. Prince found help during that last prison stretch. He went to see the drug and alcohol counsellor. He'd seen plenty of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health workers in prison, but they always wanted me to talk about the bad things I did. Tell me about why you stabbed this guy or why you shot this guy, or whatever. And then I'd sit there for an hour telling them all this stuff and then I'd go look for somebody to punch out." This time it was different. The counsellor told Prince, "I don't want to know why you're here. ... I don't care about that. I want to know what happened to you. I want to know what people did to you." "It blew me away. I was 38 years old. Nobody had ever asked what had happened to me." That was the start. A bit at a time, over the weeks, Prince started to reveal the childhood abuse he had experienced. "And that hate, I just started to feel it go away, a little bit here, a little bit there. But I wasn't walking around looking for people to hit." Prince says he wasn't aware of it then, but these sessions were the key to unlocking the bitterness and hatred he had for the world. But he had a way's to go. The last time in jail he arranged to go to treatment in January 1994. He got out in November 1993 and "stayed straight for a week, 10 days." He didn't know how to stay sober, "So, I went back using." On Jan. 22, 1994, his girlfriend overdosed on heroin and died. Prince reached an all-time low. He missed his children. He was disgusted with his life. The next day he was sitting in a hotel room, "and I wanted to kill some people. All of a sudden, I don't know what happened, I thought 'Enough, I've had enough.' I took my gun out and I put in on the counter; I put my needles down, I put my bottle of beer down, and I walked out of that room."

Prince went to see his ex-wife, slept for a day-and-a-half, then got on a bus and went to treatment. "I was four days sober when I went to treatment and I lied to get in there. But I told myself I'm going to do everything these guys tell me to do, no matter how much I hate, am scared, how much it hurts, how much shame is involved-whatever I'm going to do it." The obsession to drink and do drugs left, once "I gave up," Prince said. He was warned in treatment not to go back home or he'd end up where he started. "So I listened to them." Prince was advised to go to a recovery house and learn how to live sober. He did, for six months. He learned how to deal with his anger through counselling, "every week for a couple of years." He also started "getting into my culture." Prince candidly admits there were times when the old feelings came back. "Like maybe I should take a drive down Hastings Street and take a look around. And I found myself doing that at different times. I didn't really have an obsession or wanting to drink or do drugs, but the old, wanting to be around the old hangouts, you know. "But I caught myself in time. I talked to people about it," Prince also attended AA and NA meetings "and these feelings would leave." Prince says he's never had a strong inclination to drink since, and if he even thinks about how nice it would be to have a cold beer when he sees it advertised on television, he reminds himself he's not a social drinker. His key to sobriety, Prince said, involved seeking out the "Creator in my life." Along with traditional spirituality, four additional things work for him: reading AA or NA literature, praying every day, help others and attending meetings. What also works is asking for help when it is needed.

Prince underlined the importance of "finding two or three people for support," whether Elders or professionals or anyone strong in sobriety. "Go find them-they're out there." Now he's further along in recovery, Prince goes to sweats and fasts and works. He upgraded from a Grade 8 education to a college diploma since he gained sobriety. His family life is good; his children are doing well. "My oldest is in college now."

Successful people in recovery, he said, are the ones who are willing to do the work to change, and will move, if necessary, to avoid people and situations that got them into trouble.

On an after note, Donald figures that based on his last year of heavy drug use and crime he has saved the corrections system, retail store system and society in general about $1,000,000.00 per year. During his last year of using drugs and drinking he spent approximately $1000.00 per day. This was money that was stolen or conned or whatever illegal means possible. In order to spend that amount of money there had to be at least $5000.00 worth of goods to be stolen for resale to support the drug and alcohol addiction. Donald spent many years in the judicial system in jail, on parole, bail, on probation and also the many times that the police had to attend to the crime or troubles he caused. There was also the cost to house and feed him through approximately 12 years he spent behind bars. Donald knows of the strain he put on society, financial and otherwise and he now is a contributing member of society. When looking at the savings in terms of finances, Donald being sober has saved the system millions of dollars. The savings in terms of human lives and finances, he is continually helping others get out of the cycle of jails and addictions. By this one man sobering up there have been enormous savings to the judicial, financial and human side of society.

By JOAN TAILLON
Raven's Eye Writer
KlTWANGA